I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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