I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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