You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
