I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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