You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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