i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
