I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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