return my video game
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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