why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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