Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
