I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
