wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
