This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize