you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize