I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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