i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
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