It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
