Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
