I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I puked a lego.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.