I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.