somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
