Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
