Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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