i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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