Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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