those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
