why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
