walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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