His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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