oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
