So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
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We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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