it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
