you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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