doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
