Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kefer453 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo

Fav 4 1553 836
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

Fav 52 38162 2304
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.

Fav 12 7403 1714
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

Fav 5 1242 2492
share tweet
(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

Fav 9 4777 1586
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

Fav 9 1163 1459
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

Fav 6 1717 795
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.

(312): View more from Illinois

Literally.

Fav 4 1026 611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering

Fav 2 69 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT