I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize