at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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