Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
