Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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