But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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