he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We are all done wearing pants today
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
