You really coming over, don't trick.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
