Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
