so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
