so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize