i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
