White coat. Heels.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
