i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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