LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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