just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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