i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
