he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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