I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
