The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
