i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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