You really coming over, don't trick.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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