Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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