Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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