ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
